© 2011, 2018 Mirror Image Presentations, Alan John Mayer
Nineteen year old Regina walked into a convent, eager to please God. The first day, she noticed, and made mention of the stark conditions, but in taking the vows of chastity and obedience, she now embarked upon a year of silence.
Once a year, Regina was allowed to speak two words to the Reverend Mother.
After completing the first year, Regina was called into Reverend Mother’s office. She had considered her words carefully, and took a seat at the massive mahogany desk, itching to speak her two words.
“Well, my child, you are to be commended for having completed your first year’s vow of silence” said Mother Superior. “Tell me, what have you to say?
Regina’s mouth was dry, and she was hungry. “Bad food!” she sputtered.
“Well, my child” said the Reverend Mother “Our facilities are humble. This is not a restaurant, but I will see what can be done to improve your dining experience. Now, I have enjoyed out chat. Sister Maria will escort you back to your cell.”
Regina bowed her head. She knew not to speak more.
Next April, after a cold winter on a hard bed, came Regina’s second review. Regina entered Mother Superior’s office, took a seat at her mahogany desk, and Reverend Mother began. “My child, you are to be commended for having completed your second year of silence” she said. Tell me, what have you to say?”
This time Regina was ready to speak. Unable to sleep, she had been up all night thinking, and had chosen her words carefully. “Bed hard” she rubbed her neck in an attempt to get the value of a couple of words.
“Well, we are not a hotel, but I shall see what can be done to improve upon your sleep.” Mother Superior closed the session “I have so enjoyed our chat. I look forward to chatting with you again next year”. Regina returned to her chamber, unhappy with conditions, but determined to complete her vows.
The following April, her prayers for good food and a comfortable bed unanswered, Regina was called into Mother Superior’s office again.
Regina entered, took a seat, and Reverend Mother began “My child, you are to be commended for having completed your three year vow of silence. This is, indeed, a blessed day. What have you to say?”
For three years, the answer had been rambulating inside Regina’s stomach. Finally it surfaced, and she cried “I QUIT!”
“Thank God” Reverend Mother sighed “You have done nothing but complain since the day you arrived”.
And so it was.