Last edit 8/25/ 2018, Mirror Image Presentations, Alan John Mayer
Our next speaker, author of the Young Adult Quadrilogy ‘A Boy Alone’ Book I ‘OBSESSED’ soon available on Kindle, asks if there be any barristers in the room, that they please step out of the room, at the risk of revelation.
Al Hurnah was a gleaming city of the ancient world, a city known for its wealth and splendor, located in present day Syria, crossroads between the Mediterranean world and the eastern kingdoms. Aphrodesia was a beautiful young slave girl in one of the large houses in Al Qusayr. Pintipilis was a wealthy barrister in Damascus, half an hour over the mountain. One evening, made the dusty journey to Al Hurhah in his charriot. He rode up Hittite Row, pulled to the curb at the white stone villa with the golden phallus proudly displayed over the entrance, and verified the address. He hitched his horses to the post, reached for the massive brass door handle, and knocked.
A good looking elderly woman opened the eye of the needle. Her lavender sharub sparkled, as she looked him over. She had an emerald binji over her third eye “Might I be of assistance, Sir?”
“Madam, I have come to pay a visit to Miss Aphrodesia.”
The woman looked at his dusty sandals “Aphrodesia is one of my most expensive girls, Sir. Might another maiden suit you just as well?”
“No” Pintipilus insisted “I must see Miss Aphrodesia”.
The woman closed the eye of the needle, and opened the door. She wore gold pointed sandals, and her fingers sparkled with jewels, as she pointed “Eunich, take the horses to the stable. Waterboy, fetch me Aphrodesia.”
A beautiful young woman flickered past the wall torches, and walked up to Pintipilus, standing in the reception area. Bangles adorned her milky white arms, her face was framed by flowing dark hair “I am Aphrodesia”.
Pintipilus lost himself in the ruby on her forehead “Aphrodesia, I must see you”.
She looked at his dusty sandals “I must advise you, Sir, my fee is quite steep. Ten pieces of gold for one turn of the hourglass”. Pintipilus pulled ten gold coins out of his money belt, counted them into her hand, she slipped them into her purse. “Follow me to my private chamber” past the flickering torches.
An hour later, the eunuch tapped at the door “The sand has fallen”. Philonius completed his business, checked to make sure he had put his toga on correctly, bid the young slave girl adieu, and slipped out.
The following evening, Philonius rode to Al Hurnah again, at the same time, up Hittite Way to the white stone villa with the golden phallus over the door. He secured his horses, knocked, and waited for Madam to open the eye of the needle. She was surprised to see him “So soon?” she opened the door “What brings you return, Sir?”
“Well, Madam, I must see Aphrodesia again.”
“Come in, come in. This certainly is unexpected. Never has any suitor returned twice in a row. Waterboy” she pointed and snapped her fingers “Take the horses to the stable, give them water. Eunich — Fetch me Aphrodesia”.
Aphrodesia was delighted to see the Pintipilus “How nice to see you again, and so soon but Sir, my price remains the same. Ten pieces of gold for one turn of the hourglass.”
Pintipilus handed her ten pieces of gold. She slipped them into her purse, and led him to her chamber.
An hour later, what happened? There was a knock at the door “The sand has fallen.” Pintipilus checked to make sure he had dressed himself properly, bid Aphrodesia adieu, and took off.
The third evening in a row, what happened? Platonicua did not show up, on time, but twenty minutes late. He tied his horses to the post, knocked, and stood before the eye of the needle, waiting for Madam to open the door.
“Come in, come in, how unexpected to see you again, Sir.”
Again, Platonicus insisted “I must see Aphrodesia”.
The Madam obliged “Waterboy, take the horses to the stable. Give them water, oats, and brush them.” She snapped her fingers “Eunich, summon Miss Aphrodesia”.
Again, Aphrodesia’s purse was delighted “Sir, how unusual for a suitor to return three nights in a row, and so full of vigor. Just the same, I offer no discounts.”
Pintipilus handed the maiden ten gold coins. Smiling, she slipped them into her purse, and led him back to her chamber. This time, before the sand had fallen, she poured Pintipilus a goblet of wine and began a conversation. “Never has any suitor been so pleasing, three nights in a row, and so verile. Tell me Sir, from where dost thou come?”
Pintipilus set the empty goblet down, and rose from the chair “Just over the hill. I am from Damascus”.
“Praise Zeus, hat a small world” she exclaimed, as she rose from her bed “I have an uncle in Damascus”.
“Yes I know. I am barrister to your Uncle Aristopolous, who by the way passed away two months ago, — my regrets. In his Last Will and Testament he bestowed upon you forty pieces of gold, with the stipulation that after I pay your ten pieces of gold inheritance tax to King Balthazar, I deliver the balance to you personally.”
Whoever, wherever, whenever, whatever our religion or our beliefs, there are three things we can always count on:
* To live is to be a source of revenue to others.
* King or no king, there will always betaxes. * You can always count on getting screwed by a barrister.
I read this story around 1980. The mimeograph did not claim an author. The gist stuck in my head ever since. I rewrote the story here to get the gist across, using my own names, locations, and dialogue. If you enjoyed it, Like and please share.