2015, Mirror Image Edutainment, Alan John Mayer
Ode to a Landlady’s birthday
I stepped into the back yard, and gathered my dry clothes off the line.
As I was leaving, I looked left, and saw the landlady watering her vine.
I turned around quietly, trying not to be seen,
I tiptoed past her open laundry room door.
And saw her ceiling lamp shining so bright.
I thought, why not give her a scare, thought. Why not give her a fright? So I turned off the light.
I went back upstairs to my apartment,
lit my bong, and was feeling relief
When suddenly Mrs. Wong stood there at my door.
Can I ever be alone? Good grief!
“Moo ou’!” screamed the landlady,
her face set aglow like fire.
I really was quite frightened.
I had never seen anyone act so dire.
“I will move out, Mrs. Loo.
Until then please let me be,
you silly misinformed woman,
Stop hollering at me.
“No, Mr. Alone, my beautiful apartment you must leave
I kick you ou’ o’ West Hollywood,
An you must remember wipe you feet.
You no know how use refrigerator.
You bleak my kitchen window, Mr. Alone.
You no know how use garbege desposal.
An I no like you dog and his bone.”
I do everything I can to avoid her.
“Yes, Ma’am” calmly I say,
but living under Mrs. Loo
gets more interesting by the day.
“No singing, no dancing, no visitors.
No laughing, no talking, no joy.
No phone calls, no music, no noise after eight,
but no mind me, or the noises I make.
And then it suddenly hits me,
This is the landlady’s rebuke,
I run into her beautiful bathroom,
and into her porcelain I puke.
I did recover.
And now, our prayer:
God bless Mrs. Loo, her dustpan and broom,
her mop, her cleaners, and the fruits of her womb.
There is one life.
This life is God.
This life is perfect.
This life is my life now.
Perfect thought. Perfect word. Perfect action. I focus on perfect thought, perfect word, perfect action.
I give thanks.
And so it is.
God bless and protect our schools, our teachers, our students, administrators and our American Democracy.